Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
