Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
