im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
