so explain again why im purple
no
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
