Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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