a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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