so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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