Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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