he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
