then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
