I want to stick my p in your. b.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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