that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
