just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
