hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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