remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
