We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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