that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
