Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
