i think my mom watched the whole time
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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