hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
