i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
