Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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