Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
