In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just found puke in my bra..
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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