my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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