so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
