well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
