I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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