Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize