Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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