I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
