people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
