Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
