i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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