She said her name was "party"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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