Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
