so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
