so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
