You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
