the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
