So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize