he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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