so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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