So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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