She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
