So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
