her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
