I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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