If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
