Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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