It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize