Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
