Me. At least after what I've been through.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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