I cannot find my penis.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
