Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
