I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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