i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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