I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
