I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
