you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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