But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I cannot find my penis.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
