The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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