It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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