There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
