I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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