Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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