I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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