Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
