I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
