A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize