i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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